I AWAKEN

Most mornings I awaken to the rising sun shining through the balcony doors. One of two windows in our new place. Other mornings the sun is obscured behind the clouds. This new place is our second move this year. The fourth in the past two years. I wonder when the time will come when I can finally feel settled. When I can unpack the boxes in the garage and know I will not have to pack again for at least five years.

This morning I awoke from a dream of an impending implosion. A dance building somewhere in some town was being demolished and I was there amongst a group of people and my children. At one point we were all outside lying on the ground waiting for the destruction. Then we were all somehow inside the dance studio lying on the ground when I got up and started to run outside. I grabbed my son and looked for my daughters. Then I woke up.

Our dreams are a reflection of what is happening in our lives. After telling my boyfriend my dream, he told me to look up the meaning as I often do when one of us has such a vivid dream. As I read the explanation, it made sense. The happenings of the evening before made their way into my sleep world.

Intense, explosive, disruptive. In waking life and now in my dreams. As much as I try to avoid certain people who drain my soul, there are days when that is simply unavoidable. The days when you try to ignore the negative energy exuding from certain people only to have more negativity poured over you like gasoline on an open fire.

Some mornings I awaken to a house full of life and laughter and excitement. This morning, however, the place was quiet. Devoid of proclamations of love and 'you're cute' and three children fighting to use one bathroom whilst getting ready for school.

But this evening my son called me on Skype and made my day. His sisters were playing in the background but he wanted to simply lie on his bed and talk to me. Those are the moments we at times take for granted. It is those little things which hold the greatest meaning.

The little things like hearing the 'bing' of my phone as I awaken each morning letting me know of my morning greeting from my boyfriend across the world. Then another day begins. Another chance to make a difference in someone's life. Or even your own.