COMPLETE FAMILIES ALWAYS WIN

‘We Arnt coming today idk if seena already told you, but we are going to San Antonio’, came the text from my oldest, who was visiting from college this Thanksgiving weekend.

She continued the text by saying she thought that she and her sister were going to my place and that she will ‘come another day this week for dinner if that’s okay’. I had planned to have a dinner with all three kids at my place. Somehow, plans always have a way of changing. For the worse.

Complete families always win. You know, the ones with another spouse and extra children. At least that’s how it has been for me. Whenever it came to holiday gatherings, it was the other parent who ‘won’. My place would be an afterthought as it is ‘boring’ with no other siblings or entertainment. A place where we would eat and then the girls would want to leave after a few hours.

It’s those stupid holiday movies. Or so it seems at times. The ones which make you believe that there will be a large gathering of people in your home around a table of wonderful and delicious foods. There would be a chattering of randomness amongst everyone in attendance. ‘How is your life going?’, ‘What’s new in your job’, or whatever else there is to be new.

And then there is the single parent. Whether it’s a single mother or a single father, it’s always the same. You might attempt to gather up the strength or desire to make the day feel special for yourself and that one child who chose to stay with you. Sometimes you simply feel there is no point. But you always make the effort to sit at the table together and make the most of the time you have.

And for that I am grateful. That my son chose to be with me. Even though he feels alienated. An outcast. The one who is overlooked and who is forever accused of wrongdoings or made to feel unimportant when he is at the other place. I wish I could give him more.

Had I known my two daughters would be going to San Antonio to take part in the other family’s Thanksgiving festivities, I would have searched harder for flights to Europe. At least then, my son and I would feel less alone as we wandered about the streets of Edinburgh or Copenhagen or some random village we came upon. Something to definitely keep that in mind for future holidays.